An Altercation *

I was walking Snowy this morning in a chestnut coppice quite near here when I had an altercation with another dog and his owner, a real brute if ever I saw one; gnarled face, pinned back ears, scars all over his head and it looked like he'd been in a lot of fights, and won all of them. This was just the owner and the Bull Terrier was more than just a bit intimidating and had an air of cruel
intention. Once these dogs bite they rarely let go.

The guy had the obligatory five tattoo's, Mum, Dad, Love, Hate and England, all prominently displayed on a bare torso. I recognised him as a local chav who frequently hangs about with his fellow throwbacks outside the local council estate, presumably to stop unwanted interlopers (anyone), and it seems to be obligatory to have a dog that is inversely proportionate to the size of the hovels these people live in. Personally I blame Bill Sykes for all this as he was the first Gypo with a Bull Terrier, and they've all copied him.

I was about to pick up my diminutive Jack Russell after remembering what a vet had once told me.
'If ever your dog is being held in a death grip then act swiftly and roughly, pushing your finger into the rectum and crooking your finger.' I briefly thought about this, but was loathe to do it because I could just imagine rolling around in the mud for half an hour trying to find the orifice to invade and then not having enough strength to crook my finger in the tightening Sphincter. The owner would then take photo's of me apparently sexually interfering with his dog and I would be known locally for the rest of my days as the dog rapist, so I decided against that ploy.

I tucked Snowy safely under my arm and walked pass the duo, from his position of relative safety he gave the passing dog and owner a ferocious growl to which the owner said, 'My dog could kill your dog any-time mate.' I walked on in silence and formed my plan..........
I've decided that in the near future I will buy a creature that will not be intimidated by any others. It will be known as a long tailed, long nosed, short legged, sharp toothed terrier, apparently they are bred in the Everglades and don't lose too many fights.
K.M.